I wrote the other day that I had been inspired and wrote a short film as well as started a book. What I didn't say was how I was inspired and what the short and the book are about as well as the impact it had on me. I was hesitant to share all of this but I'm going to do it anyway. Just know I am writing this to open myself and show you who I am. Not as a victim but as someone who wants to share what is in my heart to hopefully make a difference in my life and who knows, maybe others as well.
It all started with the film 'Her'. Actually, it started before that on Facebook of all places. I had gotten an email showing people on their phones EVERYWHERE with captions saying 'hanging out with friends', 'on a date', 'enjoying a sporting event', etc and all of the photos showed people with their faces stuck in their phones, iPads, etc. It made me really think and take notice. And what I noticed was that everywhere I went, people were stuck in their phones, iPads, computers, etc. People were not talking to each other. Not in all cases of course but most of the time, that was the case.
Then I saw the movie 'Her'. If you have not seen it then I recommend it. I had a friend tell me the movie was really far fetched but I don't agree. Not at all. We are dangerously close to getting there. Let me give you some examples.
When we were growing up, we knew our friends phone numbers. Do you know anyone's phone number now? Or do you have to look it up on your phone? When we had something great happen (or crazy, funny, etc), our first reaction in the past was to call a friend. Do you still do that? If not what do you do now? Do you post it on Facebook, Twitter or take a picture for instagram or some other social media? If you had to go somewhere in the past, you would use a map or even in the more recent past go online before leaving the house and look the map up on line. I bet now (like me), you use a GPS. And I can tell you from personal experience, I feel like those things are messing with me sometimes because they literally had me driving in circles one day. Really.
I am online dating now so even that is a big example of this. You meet a guy online, you text each other your info and maybe talk on the phone. You may look each other up on google to make sure they are not crazy or wanted for murder. He may go on yelp to find a restaurant then use a GPS to find your house. Then text you when he gets there. You go for a walk and you take a picture of the sunset. I could go on and on. Technology is a part of almost everything these days.
For example, I went out with a guy last week. He has since texted me a few times and not once called me on the phone. He knew I was in Texas for about a week but what was stopping him from picking up the phone to talk? Instead his gut reaction was to text me. I haven't seen one of my best friends since before I left for Texas. She texted me happy birthday then has texted me a few times to say she has something for me and asked me what I was doing for the weekend. Not once picking up the phone.
I don't mean this as a judgement- only as an observation.
And...Facebook....don't get me wrong...I love it. I have connected with friends from all over the world. I have been able to catch up with people I haven't seen in years. We have been able to share photos and catch up on each others lives- at least electronically since I haven't actually SPOKEN to many of them and/or seen them in years.
How many hours do you spend on facebook or other social media? Do you connect with friends and family outside of social media? How often do you call your friends/family? How often do you see them in person (if you don't live with them)? Do you send letters or cards through snail mail anymore? Or do you do everything through technology now?
When I say all of this (and write all of these questions to you), these are the same questions I asked myself since I have also fallen into this trap/disconnection. Especially after what happened on my birthday the other day. That was a HUGE eye opener.
I got hundreds of posts on Facebook, a hand full of texts and some emails. It was really nice and I was so grateful to those who took the time to think of me and send me messages. However for the first time in my life, I did not receive one phone call. Not one. Not from my best friends, not from family, not from anyone. I got texts or emails from them instead.
Also, for the first time in my life, I didn't get one card sent to me by snail mail either. Instead, I got a card sent by email.
And I got an email from my gyno through the patient portal (where you would usually see test results and/or make appts- since apparently they don't do this by phone anymore either). They actually sent me a birthday message through the patient portal. That one still blows my mind. Talk about REALLY impersonal. Wow. I would rather them not send me one at all then send me an auto generated one through the patient portal. Geez!
My parents bought me a card and a cake which was really nice but basically my birthday just came and went...just another day. Or at least that is how it felt. To be fair we were iced in, in the country in Texas so we couldn't do much- lol.
Though I appreciate everything in my life and don't take the messages I got for granted, technology doesn't feel the same as ACTUAL connection. Does that make sense?
Does this mean that my friends/family don't love me? Of course not. Does it mean that as a society that we have automatically gone to technology to share our love and celebrations instead of actually connecting? Yes I think so.
It made me look at myself and my own life. Do I actually connect with people or do I just use technology and think that is connecting? Is my automatic reaction to text instead of talk? And do I make excuses as to why it is easier and faster to just text/facebook instead of actually talking to someone? Do I take the time to actually be there for my friends when they need me- in celebration or sadness? Or do I just send them a message cause it's easier.
I lost another friend last week and while I was at her funeral, I realized how much I had missed. I never got a chance to see her and really know how sick she was. I could have actually said goodbye before she passed away but I got 'to busy' to make the time.
I don't send Christmas cards anymore- I send emails or post a facebook message for everyone at once- the ultimate in laziness. Sometimes I mail birthday cards/gifts but not always- usually it is a facebook post or phone call. I don't call friends/family like I used to just to catch up- I'll usually send an email or facebook message. I don't always get together with friends/family in person because I am to 'busy'.
Really pondering this and realizing that I am part of the problem has been profound. And I know that the only thing I can change is myself. I have to be the change I want to see in the world. So, today, Feb 5th I am going to make more of an effort to actually connect and not use technology for everything. Because who knows, one day the cell towers could go out, satellites could crash or electricity can be turned off and then what would we do? We would be helpless. We wouldn't know how to get anywhere. We wouldn't know how to contact anyone. We wouldn't know what to do. We would be completely lost. We would be completely disconnected.
Honestly, aren't we already?
Sending you all love!!!! xoxo
